Wednesday, July 02, 2008
A Private Grief
We have been dealing with a difficult situation for the last two weeks, though. I wanted to ask for prayer for wisdom and guidance then, but we were not able to speak about it, as the people who needed to be told had not all been told yet. Some of those people read my blog occasionally, and I didn't want to start awkward questions I wouldn't be able to answer. Now, all relevant people know, and we are able to grieve a little more publicly in community with these other people.
This is still not something we can discuss outside of with the people who are directly affected by the situation, but I think I can safely ask for prayers now for wisdom and guidance. We will need it. All of us who are involved, not just our family. For over two weeks now, Rich and I have been under a heavy burden, and day by day our closest friends have been placed under this burden as well, as they are enlightened as to the situation we are facing as a group. The grief is still raw for us, more so for those who have only just learned of what is to come.
Last night, we had the first open talk with almost everyone present (not everyone could make it to our meeting). There were some questions asked and answered, and some of the shock and sadness shared, but we couldn't get as deep into it as the situation requires. That will just take more time. I witnessed some of the greatest strengths about our community last night, and that makes the sense of loss that much greater.
It was interesting to find that nearly everyone there last night had thought the same thing that we did. We all knew that this point would come one day, we just didn't expect it to come so soon, nor did any of us feel prepared for it now. Most of us were counting on different external circumstances to bring us to this place. Yet here we are now. I cannot really say more than this, but would appreciate your prayers for me, for our family, for our friends who are all walking this together.
We are so joyful about our new baby, about so much, really, but this makes us feel broken.
Much love to you and yours.