Monday, January 21, 2008
Shortly after we started telling people about this new baby coming, we were at our neighbors' house for a small party. People were very complimentary about the children and spent some time talking to them and asking them questions. We overheard Amira answering what we assume was a question about her feelings about the new baby. She told the lady that since "Mommy was a lonely child, we are having babies one at a time."
This cracked us up, because we think she meant only child. However, she is right about my being a lonely child. I lived a great deal in my imagination, because aside from being an only child, we didn't live near too many people around my age, by about a couple decades, and we lived across town from my school, so until I was old enough to take the bus on my own or ride my bike through town, I was dependent on my mother or other people's parents to either take me or bring someone else to play. So, I made up siblings. When I was very young, only a little older than Amira, I had a whole story about how I had sisters, and a twin who all lived with my dad.
I didn't keep up that story for too long, I grew old enough to know it wasn't probable or credible, and it became easier to spend time with other children over time. It wasn't really until we heard Amira that I realized that my lonliness as a child probably was a part of my desire to have multiple children. My children do not have that loneliness to contend with, though perhaps they might wish to be alone one day. So far, it hasn't come up that way. They prefer each other's company, and almost always wish to include each other.
When they were in school, Alexander and Dominic chose to play with each other during every recess they shared, even when they were in different classes, and though at first we thought it might be important to get them to socialize more with other children, we finally decided that it wasn't exactly a bad thing that they liked each other. Since they did have friends in their classes, and played with people other than just themselves, we didn't worry about it anymore. It may not be normal anymore for brothers to be friends, but it is a good thing and we thought it was wrong to discourage it when so many other parents wished their children were as close.